Who Am I

On:  ScrabbleBinxy.Blogspot.com
Author:  Carroll Scherber

Created:  August 25, 2014
Revised:  February 22, 2020

Revisions are in the 4th and 6th paragraphs.
Revisions are in the 3rd, 6th and 7th paragraphs.

Who Am I

“There is nothing to fear, but fear itself,” said Franklin D. Roosevelt.  As I go forth in to the future, I only have my past to reflect upon.  Only the shadows which cover me are the reminders of where I have been and the events which I have attended.  As I set one foot in front of the other, I am soon to be headed out the door to a new awakening where untold stories and dreams of possibilities to bring about change and evolution into the future of tomorrow’s tomorrow.  I…, am the future of mankind.  I am the hope and prosperity of our kind.  I am the savior of the animal kingdom.  For, if you did not know, we are all animals.  For, we are the ones who have forsaken God.  He now looks down upon us as our races have come together.  I am a blend of many races from when we originally started upon this rock we call earth; earth is a gravel pit which lays upon water.  The water which surrounds us in the water we bathe in and we drink from; where the land we walk, run, bicycle, or dive upon is where we lay our hopes, our dreams, our children, our children’s dreams of the future hopes and dreams have yet to come into existence.

If we are to know as to who we truly are then let’s look back into time when we did not care and our world only treats us as animals knowing upon this gravel pit we were animals and we were to fulfill a prophecy to populate the ground where we lay our head.  We are the hope and prosperity of our races; our races are mankind.  We have turned away from our animalistic instinct, however, we revert back to its nature.  As the animals walk through the doorway, they rarely look back; they only look back when they know they are being followed.  For, Scrabble and Binxy travel as brother; at times Scrabble my travel alone as to Binxy may travel alone; but, together they travel together.  It may not matter if one is male or female, it may not matter if they both are male for female.  What matters is they both travel together as a couple of animals; they have created their own animal kingdom.  So, when a man travels with a woman they are considered a couple of animals.  For, they have also created their own animal kingdom.  When, we peer upon those who are different than those who travel differently than as man and woman; do not assume we are homosexual or lesbian.  We may travel on foot alone or separately, but we travel and gather just as another animal gathers food in the animal kingdom.  The doorways are open to all mankind and women alike; we are not to judge as we have been taught and as we have learned.  We came out of the animal kingdom to bring forth mankind; we are to embrace each other as the animals have embraced each other’s differences.  The animal did not know any better; For, He gave the animal knowledge just as He have us knowledge of who we are to become.

Now that the doorway is open to all mankind and woman alike inside the animal kingdom, we can set forth upon a new future where hope and prosperity are to be ours.  We either take what has been provided, or we chose to close the door which opens and closes with the turn of a key.  For, this man has laid the payment to the hope and prosperity to the future of all mankind.  Does it make a difference as the whether you are homosexual or heterosexual?  No…; because, all possibilities are yours for the future of our kind is the future of your kind.  We are the future of the animal kingdom which He hath sent down before us a long time ago; For, my history alone goes back a long way.  As far back as the dawning for mankind these are the history files which my Holy Father hath provided to me.  I am the last of my kind.  I am the last of my races.  I am the last male of our family history which came together since the beginning of time.  Whether if you chose to believe me, or whether if you chose to believe in Him, our Holy Father; I know as a true and factual statement these are the lessons I have been taught.  I am here now to teach and guide you all through some new lessons.  Homosexuality and lesbianism is a part of our lives ever since the dawning to the sunset of time.  These lessons are mine, these lessons are His, and these lessons are the lessons of Jesus Christ.

We are the ones for whom you have learned these lessons from, we are the ones which will continue to guide you and instruct you into becoming the animal you once were.  If, we were to let go of our nature and act as animals, then we are to let go of who we may become.  We are the light, the truth and the way.  I, Carroll Scherber, bring you a new truth to enhance the truth of the past; these are the stories of BinxyScrabble, USNdaddy, Eleouisa, Starwalker Amun Scherber, Binxy and Scrabble, Redsagittarian, ScrabbleBinxy Lucifer Scherber, Eyheleuwsa, and Scrabble and Binxy.  These stories are told through the irises of Carroll Scherber, Jesus Christ, Paul and his Holy Father.  As I sit here and tell you these stories, I tell you these stories due to I am not the same man I once was a long time ago.  I have become the man I am to truly be for they have yet to know who they truly are; this is the question which other animals have pondered upon.  I know who I am, I know who I am supposed to become; I know what lays before my feet.  At my feet are my animal kingdoms no matter if they are human or animal alike.

So, when you stop and ask the question as to who I truly am; be sure to take a look in a mirror.  For, the mirror holds the truth and the lie is the one you wear upon your face.  If you need to cover up the lie just open the mirror and you may find your answer.  My answer came in a bottle, your answer may come in a jar; we all are looking for an answer as to who we truly are, whether, we are animal or man.  We still can make a decision as to who we are.  We are the creation of God.  We are the creation of ourselves.  We are the creation of others.  When it comes to who I am, I glare into the mirror and say, “I am who I am; I am the one which brings forth a new and bright future for others to share.”  I am the one who you will turn to for council and guidance as have turned to each other and sought out the truth; but, were only told a big fat lie.  When I stand before you do not nor never assume I am telling you a big fat lie; I am telling and teaching you the truth of who I am.  I do not withhold my honesty, I am the man I make before the mirror; I am the man my mother and father made.  I am not the animal which you have created.  I am the animal which God hath created, homosexual or not.  I am your truth, I am your light, I am your way to the Lord our God; For, He has brought be back to you and all of you.  I have surpassed my death; I have surpassed my suicide, I have surpassed a knife to the throat which was taken by my own hand.  I am now telling you a true and factual story because these true and factual stories come with my animals at my feet.

I know bring to you my life’s story inside a coloring book.  I now bring to you BinxyScrabble’s life story inside a coloring book, I now bring you Ehlouesa life story inside a coloring book, I now bring you Starwalker and Amun Scherber's life story inside a coloring book, I now bring to you Redsagittarian’s life story inside a coloring book, I now bring to you ScrabbleBinxy’s life story inside a coloring book, I know bring you Lucifer’s life story inside a coloring book, I now bring you Satan’s life story inside a coloring book, I now bring to Eyheleuwsa’s life story inside a coloring book,  and I now bring you USNdaddy’s and USNpig's life stories inside a coloring book; For, these stories are told to Carroll Scherber by Jesus Christ, Paul and our Holy Father.  These stories are the stories you will be able to find everywhere; these stories are the stories of our future.  These stories are the stories we share together inside the animal kingdom through the kingdom of heaven.  These are the stories we keep on our shelves, on our table and on our laps; because, these animals always sit upon USNdaddy’s lap.

As we reflect back, there is nothing to fear; the only thing to fear is what faces us in the mirror.  I now must lay down my pen for the animal kingdom is waiting for me at the door; this doorway heads outside into our future together.  Your doorway heads into the unknown.  Before you head out of your doorway, look upon the mirror and ask yourself, “Who am I?”  You are human inside the animal kingdom of God.

           

Blind Faith

On:  ScrabbleBinxy.Blogspot.com
Author:  Carroll Scherber

Created:  August 25, 2014

It’s difficult to have faith in one’s self when your faith has been stolen by those who would play you as the fool.  I had faith a long time ago; For, now is the time I must regain my faith; For, my life cycles through the depression which is brought upon by the lack of faith you have in me.  I have not caused my depression; For, I have created my own optimism to see beyond the ignorance and intolerance you hath brought to me.  For, I have not taken from your home or your heart; For, you have taken from my head, my heart and my hand.  When you return my head, when you return my heart and when you return my wages I may consider you in my arms to hold, to treasure, to love, to respect and above all to give you my tolerance and my integrity; For, these are the things which come to each of us when we lend an open ear and an open hand to each other; For, I am here to lend you my head, my heart and my hand.  I can only hope that these words don’t fall upon deaf ears; For, these words are written upon paper with pen and ink where I share my mind which was so eagerly taken from me; For, a test experiment which I have yet to recover. I do not know if I ever shall; For, those who have stolen these things from me have stolen them from blind ignorance and blind respect for the individual just as they have stolen a man’s identity.

Memoir 1 ~ The Darkness

On:  ScrabbleBinxy.Blogspot.com
Author:  Carroll Scherber

Created:  August 11, 2014
Revised Title:  August 04, 2015
Revision:  June 14, 2020

MEMOIR 1
AKA:  Suffering Through the Darkness of Depression

Life isn't easy after death.  I died in the month of November upon committing suicide on the weekend after the harvest of Thanksgiving.

I arrived upon a destination, which was isolated and kept a distance from travelers who would bay their vehicles and rest from a long journey’s propulsion where they would find relief at an oasis where many would travel from various areas across our nation.  The morning of my death was a chilly winter where the skies are dark and the stars illuminate as halos upon the earth.  The earth sits still where the rotation has slowed to where one can examine the rotation through from the buttresses of the trees which redden from the fall season upon their variation of orange and have fallen upon the ground given that the winter’s solstice has frozen the roots of the pillars that rise and support themselves from the ground where we place our feet.  I arrived upon this destination because I knew it was secluded.  I also knew my body would be left undiscovered.  For, those who would find my body would trek over my carcass like animals to either urinate or defecate as they passed over my body.  I sat there with the knowledge and intention to commit suicide because my life was become more and more controlled by others who would seek me out and persecute me because I was unlike other men or women.  I was unlike other men and women because I laid dead underneath the mass of two animals who sought out to fornicate with an animal who was in heat for the sweat and smell of another man’s warmth.

I contemplated and I contemplated with a strong intention to consume the medication which was prescribed for sleep; the medication was prescribed initially because I was not sleeping well and to aid me with my depression.  I suffered from insomnia and depression which lead to anxiety and agitation; the medication that was prescribed was Trazodone.  The descriptions listed by the following websites for Trazodone along with its side effects are:

According to Drugs.com[i]

Trazodone is an antidepressant medicine.  It affects chemicals in the brain that may become unbalanced and cause depression Trazodone is used to treat major depressive disorder.

An overdose of trazodone can be fatal when it is taken with alcohol, barbiturates such as phenobarbital, or sedatives such as Diazepam (Valium).

Overdose symptoms may include extreme drowsiness, vomiting, penis erection that is painful or prolonged, fast or pounding heartbeat, seizure (black-out or convulsions), or breathing that slows or stops.

And, according to WebMD.com[ii]

Common side effects of Trazodone oral:  with Less Severity

Less Serve:        Dizzy, Drowsiness, Feel like Throwing Up, Head Pain, Incomplete or Infrequent Bowel Movements, and Throwing Up

Infrequent side effects of Trazodone oral: with Severity and Less Severity

Severe:             Confused, Feeling Faint, and Involuntary Quivering

Less Severe:      Muscle Pain and Weight Gain

Rare side effects of Trazodone oral: with Severity and Less Severity

Less Severe:      Blurred Vision, Diarrhea, Feeling Weak, Twitching, and Weight Loss

Severe:             Anemia, Anxious, Bloody Urine, Brain Disease or Injury causing Inability to Communicate, Change in Appetite, Chest Pain, Chills, Chronic Heart Failure, Continued Painful Erection, Excessive Sweating, Fast Heartbeat, Feeling of Restlessness with Inability to Sit Still, Frequent Urination, Gas, Hallucination, Numbness, Numbness and Tingling, Over Excitement, Periods of Not Breathing, Seizures, Slow Heartbeat, Stroke, and Uncoordinated

I was dressed for the cold climate weather; I sat there listening… and talking…, to whom?  To those that were listening.  The contemplation lead me to the remember of those who had forgotten me; who are those that had forgotten who I am are those that have led to my persecution, whether it be before my suffocation where I was smothered underneath two men or after my suffocation because before my suffocation I was a normal human being with a job, with hopes, with dreams, with friends, with animals, with courage, with honor, and with nobility.  And, after my suffocation… I have honor, I have courage, I have nobility; what I lack are friends, family, animals, a home, wages, and warmth of another individual for whom I could share my experiences and my abilities in who I have become for the future we could hold together is a strong one where others may be weak to an end where the end has means for one to come together.

I sat in a car that I now call “Animal Kingdom Mobile;” the listeners were those who are of the natural and of the supernatural where those that hear the call of the Horn that blew for all Angels to hear.  As I sat with my feet upon the pedals which propelled me toward my destination point to a journey that I was uncertain to take with one foot upon the metals of the undercarriage and with that one foot still on the steel and rubber which would push the animal inside outward from an oasis where the trees pillar upon their buttresses and the water that ran came from a faucet which was made from the steel that we toil with the sweat and backache from our labor.  That pedal which ever so moves up and down or forward and backward is has been vulcanized to ensure its strength… its grips upon the soles of our feet so we do not lose the pace for which we travel into the unknown.  I withdrew the medication from my jacket; I glared at the label as I would glare into the unknown through my windshield which holds a view of darkness, the tar is black which laid upon the gravel which laid upon the earth which was made from the lava and oil which burned from beneath the waters and sand and the skies are darkened from the lack of rays which would redden our backsides.  The darkness I saw was from within a bottle which held a label for death; death meant a journey which had no end because the suicide had no need but to only alleviate the pain and torment which I could no longer endure because one of the last words I heard was “Die”.

The label which is adhered to the bottle is placed there for a reason just as the labels which are upon our nameplates; my name plate was also placed inside my pocket where it was dark and where my eyes could not see through the fabric which was woven from the cotton which was harvested by the workforce of labor with an animal kingdom.  Labels hold pieces of information such as names and places where our name plates hide behind a barrier which ensures its safe keeping but also ensures its hiding places which tell us something about who we are and where we come from just as the dates which chronicle the life expectancy to either the bottle which contains a dosage or a driver’s license which bears a date where places, ages and expirations come to renewal.  The bottle is now open and death has been unleashed and ready for consumption just as our lives our consumed by each other whereas a bottle containing death can contain hope for a future with each other can learn from a man who had committed suicide.  With water in hand which was delivered from an aquifer, bottled, and delivered upon the backside of a wagon where man and animal had traveled to a place to bring an oasis worth of wealth; and death in hand sixty tablets were consumed and a reservoir of water was delivered to a darkened place to dissolve into a reservoir of blood to where the place of death will be lite and the floor will be cold.  I placed hand and bottle to mouth and swallowed death not knowing that hope was already on its way; the voices are voices not just sounds of the wind, sounds of the breaking ice that comes from the moisture which batters our faces or breaks within the wind, or sounds that come from the audience whether they applaud or whether they cheer, the voices are those who sought me out and those who have chosen to either be my friend or to be my antagonist because either way the sounds are the winds which will cause my audience to Clair.

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[i] Drugs.com

[ii] WellMD.com