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Saturday, February 18, 2017

Betrayal

Author: Carroll Scherber
Created: February 18, 2017
Revised:  April 03, 2020

 

There's nothing like betrayal.

Here's the story behind that one.

My friends and family received a phone call 5 years ago come this April 2017 from these mother fucking police officers from Rancho Mirage, California, and the Palm Desert Sheriff's Department. They told them, I was an undercover police officer, an addict, and they should never say anything to who I am and as to what they were told. If they should ever tell me they would find out through the murder's family, John Joseph Gibbons, and they would murder who they were.

Betrayal is a big word. I am gradually finding out what was said. When I pushed my sister in August of 2014, she spilled the beans; but not in full extent.

My family and my friends are now pissed because I am going to walk away from who they are. It is up to them to come back to who I am.

I think I'll post this on Blogger.

Oh! Here's what I didn't tell you, there were at least 50 friends and/or family members, which they called that April.


Read this story:

Pseudonym
http://scrabblebinxy.blogspot.com/2017/02/pseudonym.html

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Memoir 4 ~ Hatred


Author:  Carroll Scherber
Created:  February 15, 2017



THIS IS AN INCOMPLETE WORK



I am trying to manage my anger.
For, if the anger is not anger;
  The anger is rage.
For, if the rage is not rage;
  The rage will not rage against the night.


Friday, February 10, 2017

Vengeance

Author:  Carroll Scherber
Created:  February 10, 2017
Revised:  August 08, 2017
Revised:  September 17, 2017


Revised words on August 08, 2017:  camaraderie and missile 

Revised on September 17, 2017:  A name for the words:  our mutual friend.


Should I be vengeful toward this individual?

Here is his letter from February 23, 2015 to who I am.  A friend told this man was to contact me.  He thought he would like who I was.  He was told certain things about who I am from this friend.  These things were about my psychic gifts.   This man’s frequency came up to mine so I could communicate with him on a psychic level.  This man has been listening to who I am since wrote him back three months after he initially wrote.  I apologized in the letter.

This man has said nothing to me, either by letter or by psychic conversation.   He seeks now to only play me as a fool; i.e., the posting on the Pandora Effect (Every man plays this man for a fool).  He is to be a religious man where he now plays God and Jesus Christ for a fool.

I’ve been waiting to talk to him where I’ve been railroaded not only by my own angel but by John Joseph Gibbons, Redsagittarian, his deceased twin brother and his grandfather.  They were a part of Satan’s family; reasons to be explained at a later time period.

He is to be good looking and well endowed; but, does not make a man.

His letter reads:

Dear USNdaddy, Thank you so much for writing back to me on Facebook. I do not know where to start again and again telling you everything you needed to know about me and the relationship we are about to establish. There are times and season for everything we do under sun. A time to be in grief and a time to have smiles all over one's face. A time to be a sinner and a time to be a born again Christian. In everything, there is a time of death. Death ends every human activity in this planet earth. But, as a Christian, I strongly believe in a LIFE after death.Resurrection of the dead is certain and sure. Because Christ have died for us all, and we owe each other love and care just as Christ loved us before our birth and will continue to love us till eternity.However,I have learn throughout the period of my celibacy that life worth living when shared with the right person.As I said up there, everything in this life happened for a reason. Ever since I celebrated my birthday, I have seen the reason why I should get acquainted to someone so special, adorable and desirable as you are. I score you 100 percent perfect be discussing life with. Carroll, I'm not ready to jump into marriage, I found you very interesting and I want to use this opportunity to relate to you few things you needed to know before we proceed on here. Marriage is not a bed of roses, it is a just a word of affection but a sacrifice.Before I go on, I would love to ask you this question: DO YOU KNOW THE MYSTERY BEHIND MARRIAGE? if yes, I would like you to give me the answer in your next mail. But if NO, I will write back to you and tell you the answer to my question.
Next is LOVE:I used to hate this word ever since (my Ex) dealt with me. When you talk about LOVE, I would like you to consider the type which Jesus Christ have on us all and because that, he went and died on the cross of Calvary because of the love he have us.Next to it is the type I had on (my Ex)my last date when we both were dating together before i left him because of the way he cheated on me with some other friend of his, (my Ex) who betrayed and stabbed me at the back just as Brutus did to Caesar or Judas did to Jesus. As you can see love kills, it hurts yet love is a sacrifice. The true test of love is not seen when both parties are still in love, but when one partner hurts the other. I want to continue my life with with a man God truly wants to be my partner and soul mate, but honestly i found love in you. I tried to show them this sacrifice yet (my Ex)betrayed me bitterly ever since then i have stare clear and wanting God to Bless me with my right match. This was what killed my joy, rendered me homeless since a few years ago till now, I do not have a place I call my home yet I'm alive.
Lastly, you are the man I just met online here, we don't know much about each other. Yet we are having that passion to know more and the only way we can make that happen is tru effective communication. As a Soldier on tour here, I'm afraid of people online. I have been bitten by (my Ex), I live in a place which is surrounded by my enemies. The Al Qaeda and Taliban are the enemies of the world. These groups do not have the fear of God Almighty in them. The made killings of the innocent their daily activities. We are living in Afghanistan today just to bring peace just as Christ brought peace to the Apostles on the day of Pentecost. As someone being surrounded by enemies. Even those we are fighting for do not recognize our effort hence they go about killing the US armies,.. Oh what a wicked world are we living in? If you are interested in me, there are things needed to be share when I'm with you. There things needed to be shared on emails,yet there things needed to talk on Facebook page. I want you to understand that we live different lifestyles and that's what mark difference in us.I'm a soldier who have served in different parts of the world. I have full army experience and I want you to understand that the reality of a man is not seen writing piece of mails here on the Facebook rather, it is proven when from the inner-self. I want you to take me as your brother who is serving in a land where he has no father, sister or brother. We friends here are our enemies. We do not have permanent house to live in, we transfer from base to base and all these bases and camps are built in middle of a forest. I want you to understand that it is my duty and right to protect the lives of US and Afghan citizen and the world at large.This is a sacrifice I chose to make and with God everything is going to be alright soon. I will stop here till I hear from you.  Thank you and God bless you.
Always Your friend in the army,
Name withheld.


Here letter which I sent to him:

Thank you for your letter.  I am terribly sorry for the late response.  I hear from your family.  They are upset about the late response.  There was nothing I could do.  I am played as a fool by the kingdom of heaven as I mentioned in my email.  I battle every day for life, peace and quiet.  I will attempt to explain.  If you have questions, please let me know as I go along.

My life is not easy.  My life is quite difficult.  I sit and write all day long to the point others get upset when they have to listen to me all day long.  You are not the only listener.  Feel comfort in that.

I receive a lot of messages all day long for my Holy Testament.  I need help battling the daily needs in my life.  I have got my doctor to look at my psychosis as PTSD.  When your ear is always tuned to the Kingdom of Heaven your social life becomes absent.

I went to Palm Springs for Jury Duty on the 29th of May.  Had to sleep on a concrete bus stop bench.  I was dismissed due to PTSD through my doctor.  Stayed with a friend for who I used to house sit for.  He and I have become friends.  He has done a lot financially for me.  I will repay when that day come.  The estranged thing is I met him through an acquaintance at a bar.  He moved me from a shelter to his home.  He and I still remain friends even when I currently live in another shelter for veterans.

You mention life after death.  I have been reincarnated as Amun, our Holy Father.  I never knew until more recently.  I now believe in reincarnation.  It is difficult to understand without further explanation.  I have died thrice in my life.  One I most currently found out about; at 4 years of age due to a train wreck.  No pun intended.  My father most recently told me.  I ran into a train at Beverly Central Park which is now the Beverly Shopping Center.  The second time I have written about; due to being smothered to death and that was not because of auto-erotic suffocation.  LOL.  The third was because of overdose which I also wrote about, Suffering Through the Darkness of Depression.

There is life after death.  We remember as to who we played these games in life.  We play these games in the afterlife.  The games we play are different but we play games.  I am a part of the game players.  Read, Monkey in Outer Spaces.

Tell a joke from time-to-time.  Keep the kingdom happy.  That is how I play these games with them.

You write of celibacy.  I believe in celibacy even though I was not celibate with my long term relationship.  It was a relationship I did not initially want.  I forced himself into a relationship.  I told him a head of time I preferred my men.  I could not fulfill an intimacy relationship.  He worked evenings and I work days.  This was the wedge in the relationship.  I catered to everything this man asked.  He was tired all the time from work.  I found it difficult to have him do anything for me when I needed it done.

I enjoy a celibate relationship.  And, at times I enjoy a third or fourth party when consensual by both parties.  I told this to my short term relationship which lead to murder on the first date; which is something I did not recognize after it happened.

The roses which I have laid upon came in thorns.  I have bad relationships and found a friend in one.  I thought my last relationship was one I was ready to settle down with.  He had more secrets than knew of.  He told me he was seeing someone but not whom.  I did not know their relationship was I share your house you share mine.

I don’t care to hide secrets but I have had a few of my own.  I may not talk freely; I talk openly.

The mystery behind marriage; yes.  I is due to taxes and celibacy.  The churches wanted celibacy where the government wanted to collect for taxes.  So, by marriage the government would offer a tax break.  AS to the marriage in the Kingdom of Heaven, I know as how the game is played.  We have had several discussions regarding marriage in the Kingdom of Heaven.

You talk about love.  Love is grace.  Love is to be eternal.  Love is promiscuity.  Which means, love bounces like a jump rope which hits the ground.  It hurts.  The rope ties you together and binds you from end to the other.

I was never ready to settle down with another until the last one.  I did not know who he truly was.  He was not forthcoming in a relationship.  I opened my heart to this man and he befell me.  I will not open my heart to him again as I did the first time.

As our Holy Father I am to love all.  The love is different.  The love is grace.

My heart aches for each soul; For, many have been destroyed.  Some due to hate and some due to get even.  I have made this mistake as others have made these mistakes.  We are beating ourselves over the head because families believe officers are above the law.  And, a prophecy within my visions have told of a man who is to marry an Officer-of-the-Law.  The families have battled for this position as they have with other bits of information.

I do not give my love easily.  My heart opened to this man unexpectedly.  Our sexual appetites were the same however I could not meet his aggressive behavior.  When I get playful I prefer a little aggressiveness.  I think we all do when we use.  I am gentle soul; however, I have been tormented by events which have happened within the last 4 years, the day I died in 2011.  I have to maintain peace throughout my soul and the kingdom of heaven.  For, they feel when I am angry or I am in love.  They feel the compassion between Jesus Christ and myself.  I know when he is near; For, my eyes tear.

You talk about Brutus and Caesar and how the pain truly feels when one stabs you through the heart.  Or, how Judas pointed a finger toward Jesus.  This is a story we are still working on.  We have not completed this story as of yet.  Part of this story is within my blog; Being True to One’s Self.

The stories are about homosexuality and the Kingdom of Heaven.  There are more than one story.  I have been given the privilege to tell different individual stories.  I write some of these stories within my blog.

I don’t do social media like everyone else does.  I post what I need to promote Scrabble and Binxy.  I am trying to gain interest in my blog.  I eventually need a website.  I do understand as to what you write about.  People and students get in trouble for various things as maintaining privacy when you are in a foreign country.  I myself have to be careful.  I do disclose a lot.  I would rather sit and have a personal conversation rather than blast through social media.  Everyone is subject to criticism.

Let’s talk about military service.  I served 16 years inside the US Navy and Reserve.  I got out due to reasons I have written about within my blog; Blog 008_Daddy Departure from Las Vegas.

I understand obligation to duty and country.  The enemy fights for beliefs, for land, for country and for wealth.  Sometimes our beliefs outweigh our intelligence, our movement for peace and power.  We fight to defend our home.  We fight to defend others.  We fight to protect our beliefs.  Our beliefs get misguided as a missile gets misguided when it doesn’t have a pilot.  The pilot needs to knowledgeable, steady and honest.

Religion is a touchy subject when people don’t have a full grasp as to what men and women are fighting for.  We fight for different pieces.  Religion has become our downfall in societies and in families where it has risen us up spiritually.  How we choose to pray is a belief we choose to share.  How we share should not be through war.  It should be through questions and answers; For, each religion was given a different ear.

Enemies of the world are enemies of each other.  Your neighbor may be your enemy as your neighbor may be your friend.  Your neighbor may be your friend however he does not share the same belief.  I may be likely to kill you as he would kill is neighbor.

We kill without thought, without consciousness and without guilt.  We kill to protect and defend who we are.  We may not even know as to who we are however we protect those who know who we are.

Kill the innocent!  Kill the innocent!
Kill the ignorant!  Kill the ignorant!
We kill!  We kill!  We kill!
We kill without thought for others.

Friends here are our enemies, you say.  Enemies are our friends.  The things I learn and write are about battles which have been wages for land, religion and wealth.  I am learning about men who waged war for or against Christianity.  The stories are interesting and worth my time.  The families killed millions of people where God had sentenced them to damnation.  These stories are not easy to get especially when there are those who will override our stories.  These stories go down in history along with my Testament.

True and effective communication comes from listening.  Listening to one another.  When one does not talk he may be thinking or sitting in defense.

Listening comes from listening all conversations past and present.  Listening from the non-verbal communication.  Listening comes from asking questions.  Listening comes from the observance of behavior when one is not in conversation.

You talk as a military member by taking a brother who is serving in a land where he has no father, sister or brother.  I understand.  I found it hard to connect with camaraderie when there are those we will not connect with you.  We worked together on weekend when we came together.  We deployed where families were left behind and friendships should have been forged.  Being homosexual in the military heterosexuals find it hard to bond to homosexuals.  The bond is different.

I thought I heard you ask something about the angels.  The angels which I play with are children in nature.  I would say childlike but childlike does not fit the description.  They children.  There are adults and there are children.  I am learning about the family of Amun.  They were children when they died as many children have.  So, the nature of the child is a child.  The angel may be 300 billion years old however they are still a child who grows.

I live my life as an angel and as a man.  I defend who I am against those who do not understand.  I am an angel.  I am a man.

Please live with me or live as friend.  I receive a lot of attention from the Kingdom of Heaven.  Some may handle it and some may not.  I do not know if Anthony told you as to what had happened.  I believe he did; For, he mentioned something about feeling better after I had been with him.  I know he saw things he could not explain as I saw my family pass behind him.

People say I hesitate between words.  It is because I am writing.  Some have to spoke as I am writing them and some I read after I write them.  Some are sentence or paragraph in length and some are a speeches such as Who Am I.

Before I answer the next question you have I want you to know I am not embarrassed to be the man I am.  I do things because I want to enjoy things.  I do things to share with others.  I do things to pleasure myself.  I do things to pleasure others.  I want somebody who is going to share the moment with me and not sit away from pleasure himself as I sit and wait for you recognize I am in the room.  My Ex-partner did this all the time.  So, I found Air Force man with 10 as he stood by and watched.  Pissed me off!  He said he would join and never did.

You are asking how I know how to use these things.  I will answer through friends and I learned to do it myself.  The internet provides a lot of answers.  It beats an ignorant or unknowledgeable friend or family member.  The last time was in 2013.

Time for my questions.

1.    When do you come home; back to Chicago?  We say you were homeless; where did you stay?  Friends, family, shelter or Anthony.  I never expected to live in shelter however this is my second.

Where do you live in Chicago?  I am familiar with the Lake Shore Drive area.  I stayed in a couple hotels in 1996 prior to a family reunion in Iowa.  A Best Western and then the Four Seasons.  I worked for the Four Seasons so I got a complimentary hotel stay.

2.    Where did you find me online?

3.    Do you have a permanent house to live in or are you share with a friend?

4.    Did you reactivate for housing due to your separation with (his Ex)?

5.    When is your Birthday?  Did you have one recently?  I thought I heard somebody say, Happy Birthday!

I am not hear to pass judgment as an individual.  I am here to listen, guide and pass a new message.  I want to grow to know you.  Letters aid me however face-to-face communication works best.  I get a better judge of character.

When I sit here and listen to all these people pass lies all day long I grow weary in man.  I need a man how is going to forthright, honest and patient.  My patience grows weary day-to-day.  Not for mankind but also for the Kingdom of Heaven.  We are going to destroy ourselves as we have destroyed ourselves in the Kingdom of Heaven.  There are things I am not ready to reveal.  I need to gain your trust; For, the things I do and see will create enemies and death.  For the things I hear create allies and foes.

God has traded places.  We are here.  I am in reincarnation.  I never expected it.  They have been showing me since day one.

The things I say and do.  I have to be careful of.

Bless you.

PS

The name on my blog site is my given name.  Through legal guardianship I took my stepfather’s name.

Should I be vengeful that his has not written or spoke with who I am.  That my angel spoke with him verses I?

Not sure what I should say.  He still haunts who I am due to these psychic connections.  I do my best to address him.  He plays us for a fool.

Shall Satan get a hold of him or should he come to who I am?

I still wait for him to come to who I am.  I have done no wrong.

The tyrannies of these trials have been laborsome and unfulfilling.  This murder investigation has been ongoing.  They have been trying to prove what has been done.  The Police’s and Sheriff’s Stations have not been wanted to investigate.  I’ve been pushing the murders and rapists on a psychic level which most may not understand.

Please leave your responses in the comment box or on Google Plus with BinxyScrabble, https://plus.google.com/binxyscrabble/




Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Pseudonym


Author:  Carroll Scherber
Created:  February 8, 2017
Revised:  May 23, 2017







I hate having to put people in their places.


The purpose for my last posting was to educate the Rancho Mirage Police Department and the Palm Desert Sheriff’s Station within the California boundaries.  There are many who did not know how to research who I am.  There are many friends who also fall within.


The FBI within the Palm Sheriff’s Station, the Rancho Mirage Police Department and the Palm Desert Sheriff’s Station wanted to play me for a fool.  They knew who I was.  They were given my name at the time of homicide.  They were given my given name.  So… I chose to write under my given name.  These things piss my family off, especially, my mother.  My mother’s hatred toward my father is exponential.  It’s a different story.


So, I’ve had to teach those how to use Google’s Blogger.  How to research the simplicities of hyperlinks.


Some may follow me by email or read from Google’s Blogger.  From email they would not utilize the hyperlink, which was supplied.  So, a small tutorial had to be in place.


A pseudonym by definition with Merriam Webster means:

a fictitious name; especially :  pen name


However, in this case I chose to write under my given name verses the name my step-father gave to who I am.[1] Where is the difficulty in that?


This is what the Rancho Mirage Police Department and the Palm Desert Sheriff’s Station couldn’t figure out.  So, here is what they did.  They stole information from my home, which proved my existence; i.e., my birth certificate, electronic data and photographs.


Scrabble hollers, Unbecoming of a Police Officer!
There again is their Mission Statement:


Mission Statement:  California Sheriff’s Department



In partnership with the public, we serve to protect the public by the suppression and prevention of crime, and the reduction of criminal recidivism; and,


Perform all mandates of the Office of Sheriff as provided in the U.S. Constitution and laws of the State of California, including the investigation and enforcement of violations of federal and state laws and local ordinances in a fair and reasonable manner; and,


Serve the superior and municipal courts by providing court security, service of civil process, and execution of lawful orders of the court; and,


Maintain the county jails and prisoners committed therein as prescribed by law in a fair and humane manner.[2]


How are serving and protecting when they steal and don’t investigate?